His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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