And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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