just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
