a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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