i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
