My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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