I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
