I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
