my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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