You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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