I want to have your abortion
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
