Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
