he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
