So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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