Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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