hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
