then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
