And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
