OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
