And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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