And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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