I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
