I'm going to rape someone's good day.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
