Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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