i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
