what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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