Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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