Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
