just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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