I'll bet she douches with gravy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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