It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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