he wants to bone in the snuggie
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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