Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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