This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
