this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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