What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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