I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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