Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
