So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
