Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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