She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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