names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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