you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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