do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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