what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
