So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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