i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
