You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize