Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
