i just had sex bonerless
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
