It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize